Posts Tagged ‘O Valencia!’

Social Climbers: From Pimp to Pirate

March 31, 2011

Last Halloween, Robby peeped some tiny pimps gracing the window display at Siegel’s Zoot-Suitery.

One little homie particularly caught our eye, due to his killer ‘stache and straight up “I don’t give a fuck” attitude.

"Life ain't nothin but bitches n money."

Well look what Bling-Stache is up to NOW:

 

“Avast. Ahoy. I’m a fucking sellout.”

This arrogant little poser thought he could ditch his Mission St. digs for THE PIRATE STORE?  Upgrade to Valencia unnoticed? Swap out his cream cruising-suit for a crisp necktie and still have an ounce of street cred?

Enjoy your bougey new setup, Bling-Stache. We’re onto you.

Triple North Face: The New “Double Rainbow” ???

March 29, 2011

 

It’s so intense.

2 bros + 1 bro-ette walking in stride to Anthony’s Cookie Shop for 3 matching snax.

Valencia in a nutshell

August 11, 2010

While visiting the South End Grill ‘n’ Bar for some P&T the other day, we found ourselves under a really sweet photorealistic painting of Valencia street.

The only thing they left out was the smell.

Highlights include:

  • Aggressive guitar strummer on steps of Social Security building insulting passers-by
  • Prius vs. Muscle Car
  • Gasoline for $2.99
  • Shady-ass guy in cowboy hat loitering in front of Glooncey’s
  • Truck parked bravely in the middle of the street

We love this painting. But, while mowing down on our happy hour half-priced macaroni (WIN), Alice and I began a list of things they forgot:

  • Line of hungry plaid-shirted boys smoking P-Funks outside Boogaloos
  • Creepy cult-faced coffee pushers outside of Teen Challenge
  • Police Station of Doom and Public Toilets
  • Man with cart asking for very specific amounts of change. ($0.37?)
  • Bikes chained in awkward/startling places
  • That blonde guy who’s always “covertly” snapping iPhone pics

Nice work, South End. Nice work.

Parking Like A Pro [Part 2]

July 8, 2010

COMPACT

I’m going to stop worrying about where I park my cruiser.

Latin American Club For The Win

April 26, 2010

So this Saturday, I had the great pleasure of whiling away my hours at the Latin American Club!

What:  Cutest little “dive-bar-masquerading-as-chic-venue” ever.  Don’t be confused by the twinkle lights and the well-dressed thirty-somethings smoking expensive cigarettes out front.  The dusty taxidermy behind the bar will remind you that yes, you are in fact home, drinking in another of the great and gritty Mish dives.

Where:  22nd and Valencia.  Far enough from Mission Bar to make you feel fancy, but close enough to drunk food to keep your ‘tude in check.

That horse is about to be wicked tanked.

Why:  The bartenders are hella rad.  I mean, yeah, they look pissed when you order your $8 Margarita of Doom (this shit will have you passed out on Market St. in no time!)  But that’s just part of the L.A. love… Nothing says “Drink More Tequila” like an aggro eye-roll as you slap down your tip!

Also, this is a great place to commune with your fellow Mish-dwellers.  Everyone here is spinning a super positive vibe… as long as you don’t knock elbows in the throng.  Oh, and be sure to get on the crazy-secret Waiting List for a table by the door, just to make things legit.   Talk to the bearded door guy, he’ll hook you up and keep you from getting your clock cleaned by a stilleto-ed cougar with a penchant for snacking on innocent revelers.

To conclude, I urge you to watch yo’ back out front, ya’ll – There’s a moat of broken glass that grows on the sidewalk periodically, but that’s just to make you feel like you’ve earned the right to drink mad ‘ritas with the best of the best.

MISH LOVE!

Armstrong out.

Frugalista Ground Zero

February 24, 2010

Last night I found this GREAT little boutique on 26th and Valencia… I couldn’t even believe the cush prices for such one-of-a-kind gear.

DESIGNER LABELS, PEOPLE!

Need some super-indie decor for your stude?  Check this noise out:

Costs less than a Seitan Chicken Salad!

Is that a spatula in your pocket?

I forgive you too... For not being on my wall yet!

Free Lamp with Purchase of Hair Dye

If you’re still not convinced that this is the best store ever, there’s nothing more I can do for you.  Oh, except maybe this:

The guy on Capp St. would only give me 25% off...

South End Grill ‘n’ Bar: Pabst and Turf?

February 23, 2010

On the corner of Valencia and 26th (street, not avenue), there is a pretty classy little restaurant called the “South End Grill ‘n’ Bar.”  I think the name is a reference to Boston because there’s a clover on the bar across the street, or maybe because it’s south of Market street?

In any case, this place didn’t look too busy last night.  I was tempted to go in just so I could chow down on a $20 steak while drinking a $1.75 beer.  Worth it?  Might have been.  Pair that beer with their $3 quesadillas, and you really have something!

I learned this pairing at sommelier school

Late Night Puns (And Veggie Burgers) For All!

February 23, 2010

There is one urge I consistently feel after a long night of libations in The Mish:  the need for a $15, awesomely complicated veggie burger that is too large for my mouth.

The Mish really does make dreams come true.  Urbun Burger (17th and Valencia) has stepped up to the plate:

Speak again, bright angel?!

I do have some questions, though, Urbun Burger… One of your super burger flippers was taking a sidewalk break with a pack o’ Parliament Lights, and his company schwag all seemed to be misspelled.  In fact, the giant logo on his t-shirt read, “URBAN BURGER.”

DISAPPEARING PUNS? I don’t know what to think.

Hilarious Theme Bar!

February 8, 2010

I just stumbled upon what might by my new favorite Mish hangout. It’s a super-fun biker themed restaurant/bar, and it’s right here in The Mish! It’s called Zeitgeist and I encourage all to check it out!

The bartenders and “bouncers” are pretty cute. They’re dressed up in punky/grungy gear and look like badasses. They even put on a solid ‘tude to keep the campy vibe alive. I saw a girl at the food hut who was refused the grilled cheese sandwich she ordered because she didn’t tip.  (He just gave her the money back and told her she should have tipped.) Hilarious! The bad customer service adds to the fantasy of being at a dirty biker bar in a small town, when you’re really in cosmopolitan San Francisco! But as with all theme restaurants/bars, you’ll pay extra for the experience.

At the bar there was a big long line of pre-made Bloody Mary’s. Kind of a gimmick, I’d say, but the crowd didn’t seem to mind. They were drinking them down like they were homemade! Mmm, kitch-a-rific! There are funny signs over the bar and even a banner with a downward arrow and the words “Tamale Lady” (which I assume is some sort of ironic joke about how many white people were there?) Funny!

While most of the staff are pretty good at their jobs and don’t break character too often, I think I saw one of the bussers wearing a Rolex. Gotcha! Don’t worry buddy, I won’t tell your boss you slipped up.

GIN + TONIC + CHEETOS = Breakfast (Obv.)


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