Posts Tagged ‘crime’
December 9, 2011
The police are after a rape suspect right here in The Mish! I know, super scary, right?
Help us, help you, find the Mission Rapist. OMGTHEMISH! has exclusive details:
- Approximately 24-32 year old male
- 5’9″ to 6’2″
- Straight dark hair, perfectly schwooped
- Thin frame
- Noticeable stubble
- Dark skinny jeans
- Black hoodie over plaid button-up
- Thick plastic-frame glasses/wayfarer sunglasses if it’s sunny
- Desert/chukka boots
- Hidden tattoos
- Pack of American Spirits
- Messenger bag
- Fixed-gear bicycle with “rapemobile” decal
Here is an artist’s rendering of the culprit:
He's laughing at you, not with you.
If you see this man or a man who resembles him, point at him and scream “RAPIST!” then run to the nearest bodega and call the police. Do NOT hesitate. Help save the dignity of many helpless single girls in The Mission. Only you can prevent tragedy.
Tags:bikes, crime, fashion, hoodies, mission rapist, RAPE, safety, watchoback
Posted in Criminy Crickets | 12 Comments »
March 29, 2011
So we went to Silver Crest last Saturday. It’s one of our fave authentic breakfast spots in the city (not exactly in the Mish, but only a short walk outside of it), and what did we find? Dozens of bandwagon-jumping trendspotters. The Crest still has the makings of an incredible breakfast place but it seems to have lost some of its rad since Joe Fixie found it.
Try the liverwurst for $3.75
Double signage action.
There was a time when the authentic touches like a lack of paper menus, jukeboxes at every table, a row of busted pinball machines, and an adjunct mimosa bar were all ours to enjoy with a few other in-the-knowers. Not anymore.
The owners of this place should DJ on Thursday nights at The Attic.
Straight outta the 50s. Too bad there were so many graphic designers and part-time baristas around killing the atmosphere.
What a shame, it was almost like we were at Bouge-a-loo’s. Back to Punjab, I guess.
Tags:bouge, crime, flapjax, fringe, land grab
Posted in Om Nom Nom | 3 Comments »
June 30, 2010
So there I was, stumbling down Orange Alley with Robby to my left and a can of grape Four Loko to my right, when an outcropping of these totes magical rainbow sticks appeared. Upon closer inspection, I discovered that they were an artful attempt to throw my nose for MISH SCOOP off the scent…. NICE TRY GANG-DOODS. We found the way into your doom-cave despite the sneakery:
Pickl Portal
I learned that the gang is called the NorCal Pickl Club (largely from the sign on the door) and they have been responsible for several instances of “Rainbow Sticking” all over the effing hood. Robby and I were hella tripped out, especially when we snuck in for an even closer look and discovered the following:
NorCal Pickl Club Hates WHY?T People? Rude.
This is srsly so offensive. Assholez.
Against my better judgment, Robby thought we should try to gain access but we were stopped in our trax by their security system:
Retinal Scanner and Microwave All-In-One
I really wish I had known about this before moving to The Mish. I’m not sure I’ll feel safe walking to Glooncey’s by myself anymore.
Armstrong Out.
Tags:'tudes, crime, kate gosselin, pickles, rainbow sticks are freaky, safety, skulls 'n shit, watchoback
Posted in Criminy Crickets, Exploring Like Whoa! | Leave a Comment »
April 5, 2010
I spent the good part of a rainy Easter Sunday wandering around the Mish looking for some Easter treats. There were none to be found. What I DID find, however, were two grocery stores on the same block with the same name: Casa Guadalupe.
The smaller one is beside “Mision Pie” and has a #2 on its banner. (We’re assuming the bigger one down the road is #1.) In any case, it’s #1 in my books. They didn’t have any xocolate eggs. They DID have this:
Simba?
Are these lions free-range? Factory farmed lions are the WORST.
Tags:Casa, crime, Easter, free range food, grilled goodness, lion meat, mish-a-lish, Pumas, Rad, Sushi, trendz, watchoback
Posted in All Types of Rad, Exploring Like Whoa!, Om Nom Nom | 1 Comment »
February 27, 2010
I haven’t seen Halloween in the Mish, but I’m sure it’s awesome. I am envisioning hundred of kids of all ages running around with candy and costumes and a whole lot of high-fiving.
From what I can tell, the most popular costume for kiddos in the Mish is The Pimp. This costume is so popular that stores are selling them eight months early. Check the photos.
Kiddos are pimps too.
Golden pimp-stache.
Get your pimp ‘stumes now before they sell out!
Tags:'stumes, crime, David Bowie, kiddos, pimps, trendz
Posted in Phantasmagorical | 2 Comments »
February 6, 2010
It’s always safe to be concerned about safety in the hood; you can never be too safe for your own good. I heard someone somewhere say that The Mish wasn’t safe, p’shaahgh! Yeah, right.
The San Francisco Crime Blog has been keeping track of every person killed in San Francisco for years (I know, creepeh!) so I went to them for the straight facts. Turns out there has not been a murder in The Mish since November 2007! Look it up if you don’t believe me!
Police sketches are not needed in The Mish
So when someone tells you not to walk down a scary street like Guerrero at night, ask them “What’s the worst that could happen?” The answer: not death, that’s what!
Note: it turns out the neighboring hood to the east, Napa Valley, has not had a murder in a while either! So feel safe even if you cross over that Mish-Napa Valley line.
Tags:crime, life!, safety, stats, watchoback
Posted in Criminy Crickets | Leave a Comment »
Alice Armstrong
Robby Aberdeen
