Archive for the ‘mishteries’ Category

KRUA = Suck A$$ Club

December 6, 2011

Oh em gee, Mish-Fish, we are back and… WTF? There are approximately 7 jillion new restaurants blowing up the ‘hood, people with bad clothes are happier than ever, and you still can’t wear red past Cesar Chavez.

Robby and I decided to dive into some Mission mayhem this weekend, so we went to check out the new nightclub, KRUA (just a stroll away at 16th and Guerrero.) Apparently this used to be some lame-ass Thai resto, but we heard that the owners got hip to the needs of the neighbs.  They are def gunning to be the next A1A Steak Lounge.  Natch.

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Xanax does NOT REQUIRE SILVERWARE, PPL. ( I can't sit down in this dress ne way.)

Geared up for some srs J-Pop, I decked out in my best six inch sling-backs + tiny tube shirt-dress, picked up Mr. Aberdeen (crucial accessory) and started getting crazy sloppy on those whiskey-filled chocolate balls. (It’s XMAS BIA!) When we got to KRUA, though, I was all “Where’s the line?” For reals, people, there were approximately negative five humans in the place. Maybe has something to do with the fact that they are totes crowding the dance floor w/ weird-ass tables. (Or weird ass-tables?)  Oh and NO LIQUOR? WTF? How am I supposed to get crunk and make out with hella strangerz?

Verdict: KRUA Thai is NOT where the party is at.  Unless you are into free ice water and cracking your shins on aluminum chairs while you get your freak on.

The Great Straw Debate

April 12, 2011

As some of you may have noticed, the St. Francis Fountain have changed their straws.  Gone are the halcyon days of the neighborhood favorite paper barbershop straws.  Instead we get plastic ones in soulless blue and clear.

Old straws: melt in your mouth

New straws: do not melt in your mouth (bad)

So maybe you can actually get through a milkshake in under 3 straws (5 if you’re wet-of-lip), but who cares?  What really matters in an establishment of this type is the old timey feel.  When I go to The Fountain, I want an experience.  I want to feel like I’m stepping into the 1950s, a whole world of nostalgia I never lived through.  This whole a plastic straw thing, that just ruins the illusion.  I think I’m not alone on this one.

What do you think, The Mish?

Social Climbers: From Pimp to Pirate

March 31, 2011

Last Halloween, Robby peeped some tiny pimps gracing the window display at Siegel’s Zoot-Suitery.

One little homie particularly caught our eye, due to his killer ‘stache and straight up “I don’t give a fuck” attitude.

"Life ain't nothin but bitches n money."

Well look what Bling-Stache is up to NOW:

 

“Avast. Ahoy. I’m a fucking sellout.”

This arrogant little poser thought he could ditch his Mission St. digs for THE PIRATE STORE?  Upgrade to Valencia unnoticed? Swap out his cream cruising-suit for a crisp necktie and still have an ounce of street cred?

Enjoy your bougey new setup, Bling-Stache. We’re onto you.

Valencia in a nutshell

August 11, 2010

While visiting the South End Grill ‘n’ Bar for some P&T the other day, we found ourselves under a really sweet photorealistic painting of Valencia street.

The only thing they left out was the smell.

Highlights include:

  • Aggressive guitar strummer on steps of Social Security building insulting passers-by
  • Prius vs. Muscle Car
  • Gasoline for $2.99
  • Shady-ass guy in cowboy hat loitering in front of Glooncey’s
  • Truck parked bravely in the middle of the street

We love this painting. But, while mowing down on our happy hour half-priced macaroni (WIN), Alice and I began a list of things they forgot:

  • Line of hungry plaid-shirted boys smoking P-Funks outside Boogaloos
  • Creepy cult-faced coffee pushers outside of Teen Challenge
  • Police Station of Doom and Public Toilets
  • Man with cart asking for very specific amounts of change. ($0.37?)
  • Bikes chained in awkward/startling places
  • That blonde guy who’s always “covertly” snapping iPhone pics

Nice work, South End. Nice work.

Life Hack – Mission Style

June 7, 2010

I just want everyone to take a second to congratulate Robby, who finally mastered parallel parking in our bumpin’ neck of the woods.

Good thing you don't have a beach cruiser.

Armstrong out.

Suspension Zone: No Dinos?

April 21, 2010

In our modern world, public telephones and phone booths have been reduced to retro kitsch.  That’s why the Mish is so refreshing: public phones galore!  On the pavement just beside one of these glorious phones I came across one of the most interesting sidewalk spray-paint political statements yet!

EPWA? Earthly Politics Warrant Apathy? Elderly People Want Apples? Eat Poo with Ass?

But what does it mean?  What do Brachiosaurs have to do with the Mish and phone booths?  Unless someone out there knows, it will remain a Mishtery.


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