Author Archive
February 22, 2012
Hey Everyone, it’s been a while. If you haven’t already, check us out on twitter at @omgthemish. Now enough pandering, time to report some BREAKING NEWS. At around 10:00pm tonight a trio of youngsters were spotted joyriding around the mission in a stolen car. They tried to do donuts at 26th and Mission but ended up crashing right into Casa Guadalupe #3 where they only sell day old “pan”. After the accident, the culprits ran into Lilac Alley and changed clothes.
What is this world coming to when car thieves pack a change of clothes?
Maybe don't buy the cherry tomatoes today.
- Way to stick the landing!
Tags:case crash car donuts teriyaki burgers
Posted in Criminy Crickets, Uncategorized | 4 Comments »
December 13, 2011
The Elvis/Prince/Dolly house has officially burned down. Last week there was a dangerous fire in the top flat of a building that did not contain working fire alarms. It left two people in critical condition. This sign was placed outside the building the day after the fire:
Pointy tongues are the worst
Levity in the face of tragedy? Hogwash. This sign is heartless and crude and should not be tolerated in a civilized society. Not only that, it is just plain rude. Downstairs neighbors, you should be ashamed of yourselves.
If you’re feeling charitable, head on over to the donation site and join the trio of donors to this very worthy cause.
wecaused.it/24thstreetfire
If you feel like the correct response is combining alcohol and smoking instead, the victims are having a benefit this week Thursday December 15th at El Rio. The event will go until 4:30am to memorialize the two week anniversary of this fire.
Tags:24th, civilized society, correct response, downstairs neighbors, El Rio Grande, fire, Theme Party!
Posted in Whatever | 1 Comment »
December 9, 2011
The police are after a rape suspect right here in The Mish! I know, super scary, right?
Help us, help you, find the Mission Rapist. OMGTHEMISH! has exclusive details:
- Approximately 24-32 year old male
- 5’9″ to 6’2″
- Straight dark hair, perfectly schwooped
- Thin frame
- Noticeable stubble
- Dark skinny jeans
- Black hoodie over plaid button-up
- Thick plastic-frame glasses/wayfarer sunglasses if it’s sunny
- Desert/chukka boots
- Hidden tattoos
- Pack of American Spirits
- Messenger bag
- Fixed-gear bicycle with “rapemobile” decal
Here is an artist’s rendering of the culprit:
He's laughing at you, not with you.
If you see this man or a man who resembles him, point at him and scream “RAPIST!” then run to the nearest bodega and call the police. Do NOT hesitate. Help save the dignity of many helpless single girls in The Mission. Only you can prevent tragedy.
Tags:bikes, crime, fashion, hoodies, mission rapist, RAPE, safety, watchoback
Posted in Criminy Crickets | 12 Comments »
May 5, 2011
Don't worry, it's not a trick.
If you’re not enjoying the suburban tourist gang rape the neighborhood is experiencing right now, maybe head down to the 24th street BART station and enjoy some free donuts. Compliments of somebody.
Tags:'nuts, BART, watchoback
Posted in Om Nom Nom | Leave a Comment »
April 23, 2011
If you make it to Dolores park today, try heading down under the bridge. There is a performance art exhibition going on all weekend. The theme: angry Latin poetry. This guy’s an artist. Look for him under the fart graffiti.
Watch out for the Muni!
Tags:art, fashion, Italianate, Muni, pimps, school, scowl, The DP, watchoback
Posted in All Types of Rad | Leave a Comment »
April 12, 2011
As some of you may have noticed, the St. Francis Fountain have changed their straws. Gone are the halcyon days of the neighborhood favorite paper barbershop straws. Instead we get plastic ones in soulless blue and clear.
Old straws: melt in your mouth
New straws: do not melt in your mouth (bad)
So maybe you can actually get through a milkshake in under 3 straws (5 if you’re wet-of-lip), but who cares? What really matters in an establishment of this type is the old timey feel. When I go to The Fountain, I want an experience. I want to feel like I’m stepping into the 1950s, a whole world of nostalgia I never lived through. This whole a plastic straw thing, that just ruins the illusion. I think I’m not alone on this one.
What do you think, The Mish?
Tags:24th, Christianity, pole party, scowl, the fountain
Posted in mishteries, Om Nom Nom | 2 Comments »
April 1, 2011
That festival of beerdranking, debauchery and gambling is upon us.
No, not Punks V. Hipster Fight Club night. It’s the FINAL FOUR. Real sports fans head out to places like Kilowatt and The Phoenix to catch the end of the tourney, but what if you’re the kind of person who thinks that Butler is the school that Jeffrey from the Fresh Prince went to, or want to watch some roundball with a tall can of Tecate while wearing a shiny 70s Hoosiers jersey and a rainbow headband. What about you? Where can you go?
The USPS takes a liquid lunch
The place for you is The Phone Booth. Since the 2010 Giants World Series run and historic victory for beards, The Peebs has transitioned from a place where you can ironically listen to “La Roux” and smoke cigarettes indoors to a place where you can ironically watch “The Super Bowl” or “Glee” and smoke cigarettes indoors (but not at the bar).
Much like love, watching college Basketball is a battlefield. And much like Pat Benetar, girls at the Phone Booth are not afraid of the Leotard.
These Phone-boothers bask in the blue tint of another San Jose Sharks victory.
So no matter which type of animals you like (Huskies, Rams, Tar Heels or Wildcats) the Phone Booth is a great place to enjoy the end of March Madness and maybe wake up in a ditch afterwards.
Tags:final four, Glee, mission, phone booth, roundball, SMOKING KILLZ!
Posted in Whatever | Leave a Comment »
March 29, 2011
So we went to Silver Crest last Saturday. It’s one of our fave authentic breakfast spots in the city (not exactly in the Mish, but only a short walk outside of it), and what did we find? Dozens of bandwagon-jumping trendspotters. The Crest still has the makings of an incredible breakfast place but it seems to have lost some of its rad since Joe Fixie found it.
Try the liverwurst for $3.75
Double signage action.
There was a time when the authentic touches like a lack of paper menus, jukeboxes at every table, a row of busted pinball machines, and an adjunct mimosa bar were all ours to enjoy with a few other in-the-knowers. Not anymore.
The owners of this place should DJ on Thursday nights at The Attic.
Straight outta the 50s. Too bad there were so many graphic designers and part-time baristas around killing the atmosphere.
What a shame, it was almost like we were at Bouge-a-loo’s. Back to Punjab, I guess.
Tags:bouge, crime, flapjax, fringe, land grab
Posted in Om Nom Nom | 3 Comments »
March 28, 2011
Ok, it's the same name, but now it's IRONIC. Or is it......
Hi everyone. It’s been a year or so since we started this blog. We were feeling a little blasé about it. For the first time in a while I saw something vaguely blog-worthy, so we decided to kickstart the blog back into motion. It should have been a tumblr from the beginning, but whatever, here it goes.
I was walking along 24th all hum-dee-dum this morn waiting for something interesting to happen and ran into the following:
Don't you try to trap me, yo. I know where you live.
PBR on a wire. Probably connected to some sort of Rube Goldberg machine inside the building above causing a chain of events leading to a robot giving a dude in the bathroom of the attic a tattoo of Miley Cyrus in bondage gear. Kind of weak if you ask me. What kind of self-respecting missionite is going to jump up in the air for a PBR unless the streets are empty and someone’s snapping black and white photos from an angle that makes them look like they’re skybound? And plus, everybody knows that it’s Old Milwaukee cans now. Psshaw.
Tags:24th, Attic, BACK IN THE USA, homes, Kris Kross, nice try, Ole Walkie, PBR
Posted in Whatever | Leave a Comment »
Alice Armstrong
Robby Aberdeen
