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KRUA = Suck A$$ Club

December 6, 2011

Oh em gee, Mish-Fish, we are back and… WTF? There are approximately 7 jillion new restaurants blowing up the ‘hood, people with bad clothes are happier than ever, and you still can’t wear red past Cesar Chavez.

Robby and I decided to dive into some Mission mayhem this weekend, so we went to check out the new nightclub, KRUA (just a stroll away at 16th and Guerrero.) Apparently this used to be some lame-ass Thai resto, but we heard that the owners got hip to the needs of the neighbs.  They are def gunning to be the next A1A Steak Lounge.  Natch.

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Xanax does NOT REQUIRE SILVERWARE, PPL. ( I can't sit down in this dress ne way.)

Geared up for some srs J-Pop, I decked out in my best six inch sling-backs + tiny tube shirt-dress, picked up Mr. Aberdeen (crucial accessory) and started getting crazy sloppy on those whiskey-filled chocolate balls. (It’s XMAS BIA!) When we got to KRUA, though, I was all “Where’s the line?” For reals, people, there were approximately negative five humans in the place. Maybe has something to do with the fact that they are totes crowding the dance floor w/ weird-ass tables. (Or weird ass-tables?)  Oh and NO LIQUOR? WTF? How am I supposed to get crunk and make out with hella strangerz?

Verdict: KRUA Thai is NOT where the party is at.  Unless you are into free ice water and cracking your shins on aluminum chairs while you get your freak on.

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Posted in Drinkie Poo, mishteries, Uncategorized, Whatever | 1 Comment »

BREAKING: FREE SHINGLES SHOTS

April 10, 2011

Walk-Ins Welcome.

Apparently we’ve got a bunch of do-gooders at 26th and South Van Ness.  I bet they got the syringes from the guys at Vic’s Grocery across the street.

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Social Climbers: From Pimp to Pirate

March 31, 2011

Last Halloween, Robby peeped some tiny pimps gracing the window display at Siegel’s Zoot-Suitery.

One little homie particularly caught our eye, due to his killer ‘stache and straight up “I don’t give a fuck” attitude.

"Life ain't nothin but bitches n money."

Well look what Bling-Stache is up to NOW:

 

“Avast. Ahoy. I’m a fucking sellout.”

This arrogant little poser thought he could ditch his Mission St. digs for THE PIRATE STORE?  Upgrade to Valencia unnoticed? Swap out his cream cruising-suit for a crisp necktie and still have an ounce of street cred?

Enjoy your bougey new setup, Bling-Stache. We’re onto you.

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Posted in Fashion Passion, mishteries, Whatever | Leave a Comment »

Triple North Face: The New “Double Rainbow” ???

March 29, 2011

 

It’s so intense.

2 bros + 1 bro-ette walking in stride to Anthony’s Cookie Shop for 3 matching snax.

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Posted in Fashion Passion, Whatever | 1 Comment »

Breaking: Breakfast Bonanza

August 15, 2010

If there is one thing we are all about, it’s breakfast.  The Mish has no shortage of options and we take advantage like it’s our job.

However, this weekend we discovered that changes are afoot in the Breakfast World of the Mish. Hold on to your Topsiders – We have some serious updates, right here and right now.

1)  Punjab Breakfast – FREE MIMOSAS, YA’LL!  Though this place is most commonly known for serving up a mean plate of lo mein, they will hook you up with a baller all-American breakfast that will blow your Mish Mind.  (Photo evidence below.)  We walked in looking for matar paneer, found out it was actually a Chinese restaurant, and then got the hook up on the omelette menu.  WHAT?! They open at ten a.m. and if you order off the breakfast list, mimosas are on the house.

Lobster omelette? Yes, please.

Oh, and did we mention everything comes with like, seven side dishes (plus lonely strawberry garnish?)  Prices comparable to The Fountain.

2) THE FOUNTAIN – Twice the rad, half the wait!

That’s right, your favorite fashion-forward crowded-ass diner took over the lingerie store next door, opening up more seating than you shake a stick at.  We haven’t figured out yet how the waiters are getting back and forth between the “main hall” and “the annex” (as a co-eater described them) but I only had time to smoke one Parliament while waiting for a table, as opposed to the usual three.  NICE.

Changes are afoot. We like 'em.

Their menu also has a few new items, including a vegan version of The Nebulous Potato Thing.  The mimosas aren’t free here,  but the waiter ‘tudes will really help kickstart your day.

3)  NENA’s  (Mission and Cortland) – Don’t try to get breakfast here.  Something has gone terribly awry and breakfast is only available Monday through Friday.  (I know. I don’t get it either.)  Their yogurt parfait sounds great.  But we wouldn’t know. It was Saturday and they wouldn’t give it to us. LAME.

We hope your hang-overs find this information useful and wish all the brunch-munchers great success.  Good luck out there.

Armstrong out.

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Posted in Drinkie Poo, Om Nom Nom | Leave a Comment »

Parking Like A Pro [Part 2]

July 8, 2010

COMPACT

I’m going to stop worrying about where I park my cruiser.

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Posted in All Types of Rad | Leave a Comment »

BREAKING: Gang Hideout Discovered

June 30, 2010

So there I was, stumbling down Orange Alley with Robby to my left and a can of grape Four Loko to my right, when an outcropping of these totes magical rainbow sticks appeared.  Upon closer inspection, I discovered that they were an artful attempt to throw my nose for MISH SCOOP off the scent…. NICE TRY GANG-DOODS.  We found the way into your doom-cave despite the sneakery:

Pickl Portal

I learned that the gang is called the NorCal Pickl Club (largely from the sign on the door) and they have been responsible for several instances of “Rainbow Sticking” all over the effing hood.  Robby and I were hella tripped out, especially when we snuck in for an even closer look and discovered the following:

NorCal Pickl Club Hates WHY?T People? Rude.

This is srsly so offensive. Assholez.

Against my better judgment, Robby thought we should try to gain access but we were stopped in our trax by their security system:

Retinal Scanner and Microwave All-In-One

I really wish I had known about this before moving to The Mish.  I’m not sure I’ll feel safe walking to Glooncey’s by myself anymore.

Armstrong Out.

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Posted in Criminy Crickets, Exploring Like Whoa! | Leave a Comment »

Life Hack – Mission Style

June 7, 2010

I just want everyone to take a second to congratulate Robby, who finally mastered parallel parking in our bumpin’ neck of the woods.

Good thing you don't have a beach cruiser.

Armstrong out.

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Posted in mishteries | 1 Comment »

The Notorious Megan (Stone Cold Killah)

May 10, 2010

Did you know that Mish grade-schools have decided to start teaching “Tagging” as part of the core curriculum?  Below is photo evidence of what I can only assume is a recent field trip, to put that paint into practice.

That "M" could use some work, homeslice.

I don’t think Megan has taken the workshop on “Choosing Your Handle” yet.   I mean, I like that she’s keeping it real by throwing up mad props to the name her mama gave her.   But the Mission po-po don’t mess around, Miss Megan; might as well have slapped your student ID up there, too.

Oh! And look! MEGAN HAS FUN WITH FONTS!

A Unique Twist on "Sans Serif!"

Two tags + two fonts + one wall + given name =  A+.   A-fucking-plus.

Yours,

Alice

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Posted in All Types of Rad, Off the Charts Art, Phantasmagorical | Leave a Comment »

Latin American Club For The Win

April 26, 2010

So this Saturday, I had the great pleasure of whiling away my hours at the Latin American Club!

What:  Cutest little “dive-bar-masquerading-as-chic-venue” ever.  Don’t be confused by the twinkle lights and the well-dressed thirty-somethings smoking expensive cigarettes out front.  The dusty taxidermy behind the bar will remind you that yes, you are in fact home, drinking in another of the great and gritty Mish dives.

Where:  22nd and Valencia.  Far enough from Mission Bar to make you feel fancy, but close enough to drunk food to keep your ‘tude in check.

That horse is about to be wicked tanked.

Why:  The bartenders are hella rad.  I mean, yeah, they look pissed when you order your $8 Margarita of Doom (this shit will have you passed out on Market St. in no time!)  But that’s just part of the L.A. love… Nothing says “Drink More Tequila” like an aggro eye-roll as you slap down your tip!

Also, this is a great place to commune with your fellow Mish-dwellers.  Everyone here is spinning a super positive vibe… as long as you don’t knock elbows in the throng.  Oh, and be sure to get on the crazy-secret Waiting List for a table by the door, just to make things legit.   Talk to the bearded door guy, he’ll hook you up and keep you from getting your clock cleaned by a stilleto-ed cougar with a penchant for snacking on innocent revelers.

To conclude, I urge you to watch yo’ back out front, ya’ll – There’s a moat of broken glass that grows on the sidewalk periodically, but that’s just to make you feel like you’ve earned the right to drink mad ‘ritas with the best of the best.

MISH LOVE!

Armstrong out.

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Posted in Drinkie Poo | Leave a Comment »

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